And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
