Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
