I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
tell me about the eggs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
