There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
