some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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