every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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