I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the night ended with taco bell and tears
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
