Ambien. No doubt about it.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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