If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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