Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
