Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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