He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
