His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
