I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
