it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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