Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Randomize
