so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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