Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
