I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
