There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
