Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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