we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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