My nipple is on Facebook.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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