The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
