Soap is not a condiment
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
