I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize