I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
