my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize