He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
