Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
