I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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