On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
