yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
