i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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