he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize