that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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