Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
