nut hugger
Apparently you make a good broom.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
