I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
FUCK WHALES
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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