I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
