1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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