dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
