hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
