Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
