The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
