Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
