If i come over, it means nothing
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
