The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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