He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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