Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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