a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize