I wannas sexs uuuuu
i love accidental penises.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
