Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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