Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
