hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
