I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
