Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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