TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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