Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
