I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
