He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
